Friday, August 9th
Another beautiful sunny morning. Jesse, Lee, Nolan, Grant and Molli are starting their trip back home today. Stopping overnight in Kansas City along the way. :-( We are planning a trip down to Oklahoma to see them and Joanna in October.
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I am a wife, mother and grandmother diagnosed with DM and Lupus. I have been learning to live with my diseases and to love my new self. Honestly, I still grieve for my old self.
I know I’m not alone on my journey. I have God and a loving supportive network of Drs, family and friends that have been helping me through my struggles this past year. I chose to share my story in hopes of helping others with the same struggles and to help myself on my journey.
Yesterday Erik, Christine and Kaylee went to Michigan for a funeral. Christine's uncle died suddenly. We also found out our neighbor's battle with cancer ended. It's so hard to lose someone so suddenly no matter how old they are. :-(
I realize I also grieve for myself and my family. We all miss the old me. The one who could go to the park without dressing for the occupation. The one who could spend a week vacationing in the summer heat. The playful me. :-) I grieve for my former life. I miss being able to do what I want when I want without the swelling and pain :-(
I was reading about the stages of grief...they are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I thought I hit the acceptance stage but when I am hurting...I fall back to depression...I have a tough time accepting that as part of my life. When you hurt alot it takes a toll. :-)
I trust God to grant me the peace and acceptance I need to get through each and everyday... Amen!
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"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine." —Ralph Waldo Emerson
Miraculous Esteem Meditation
Today we have a new opportunity to cleanse the lens of perception and see ourselves as we really are: completely loved and completely lovable.
Despite what you may have been conditioned to believe, there is nothing that you have to do or achieve to be worthy of love. Your true self is pure love and you are already infinitely precious exactly as you are. This awareness of who you really are connects you to your true self-esteem. This esteem is solid and unwavering. Your soul loves you unconditionally. The approval rating of your ego, in contrast, is fickle and forever shifting. Your ego may approve of your performance one day and then the next day judge you as inadequate or lacking. As we shift from identifying with our ego’s insecurities and fears, we open to the gifts of the soul. It all begins with self-awareness. Each day as we spend time in the inner quiet of meditation, our awareness will expand and awaken us to love.
Our centering thought for today is:
I am a perfect, divine creation.
MINDFUL MOMENT
Make it your practice for today to cultivate self-awareness and self-love. No matter how much you have suffered, your soul sees you as whole. When you feel out of balance, anxious, or alone, pause for a moment and take a deep breath. In the quiet moment of a pause you can assess the gentle refuge of your heart. Take a few moments to close your eyes and sit quietly, feeling your heart as a soft, warm enclosure. Let your attention settle there and rest as long as you wish.
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Today's Bible Study
Promises to Heal
Read | James 5:13-18
Have you ever wondered why we see far fewer miracles today than what the Bible reports? God has not changed, nor has His power. And our needs are no fewer than those of that day. Why, then, do we witness less of His powerful healing in modern society?
James 4:2-3 lists two reasons: “You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”
God’s power may also be hindered by a lack of faith. In fact, because the people in Jesus’ own hometown rejected Him, He did few miracles there (Matt. 13:57-58).
There’s another reason, and it may be the most difficult to comprehend and accept: Sometimes the Lord’s perfect and loving will is not for our health to be restored immediately—or ever. He might have a lesson for us to learn that requires suffering so we can listen and understand. Because our Father knows the big picture that we are unable to see, He may allow the difficulty to remain.
Paul accepted this. He asked God three times to remove what he called his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7). But he finally understood that it would continue and the Lord’s power would be made perfect through his weakness.
God desires that you turn to Him as Lord and Healer. Pray with faith in Jesus’ name, bringing your requests but also surrendering to His will. Trust that He can do anything—and that what He does will be in your best interest and for His glory. Our heavenly Father still does miracles today.
Another great day!
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